joshuastarr

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:18:41 GMT

When you moderate it makes my heart sink past my knees.

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 07:56:31 GMT

Why do I feel like we're strangers all of a sudden?
It feels like you don't even want to hang around me anymore.
It hurts me and makes me distance myself as well.
Even when things are going well... you're still pulling away from me.

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 06:57:30 GMT

I already wasn't on top of the world.
I'll sit the next one out thank you.

(cheer up, chin up, cheer up, chin up, cheer up, chin up, my love was another kind)

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:27:31 GMT

I got my license.
A new bank account.
New shoes.
Giving things I won't need away.
Taking care of everything I'll leave behind.
I'm getting ready to go on.
Everyone else should too.

I'm done with high school.

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 02:44:35 GMT

I don't think I'll miss a lot of people that went there though. : \
I used to think some of my best friends went there,
but there was always an unsettling overtone between us.
I have a headache. Not a blaring one.
I can't help but feel... unsettled today.
Maybe it's the fact I wasn't too broken up about saying bye.
Or that I'm slowly shifting out of my place,
and I'm drifting into murky waters.
I want to show that I care, and that I want the best,
but my love criss-crosses as it tiptoes around a fire.
This heart is meant for beatin'.
In a moment I'll be with you, but it'll be a different kind.

And when

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:32:19 GMT

I say I love you.
I mean it.
More than those three words could ever say.

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 06:27:20 GMT

The Beatles are suddenly more appealing to me.
Heart beats too.

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 09:43:54 GMT

I'll be honest with you sir,
this talk about killing yourself makes me worry.
Invest your life into something useful.
Get a job, get a hobby, get something.
You're making mom miserable. She hides the pills cause she thinks you'd actually do it.
I never paid attention to it because I thought you were trying to get a rise out of us,
but chill the fuck out and do something productive.
The reason you're not happy is because you don't do anything.
You list off the ways you'd do it: pills, suffocation, wrists... and it's pretty annoying.
Your life is "so worthless". There's "no point in living".
Be a man for once and take control of your God damn life.
You have a purpose, so find it.

Please remember me, mistakenly...

Fri, 30 May 2008 21:40:54 GMT

My head and my heart have been fighting...
My head knew how you felt. But wouldn't admit it.
My heart knew how I felt. But wouldn't admit it.
I convinced myself a feeling I had was something else.
Now that I am aware I fooled myself, I'll make my eyes new.
I listened to my head, and I asked my heart if this was okay,
and for a while I had felt a different kind of love.
It's the same feeling you had several years back,
and I just didn't know how to interpret this love or attention.
It was natural and inevitable.
But now that I've realized it, I'm ready to recover.

"Well I need you to tell me what to wear
I need you to help me comb my hair
Yeah, I need you to help me tie my shoes
Yeah, I need you to come keep me amused"

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:36:40 GMT

I miss you.
I don't feel well, either.
Emotionally, physically, etc.
Come back to me.
Please.
You're mostly what I think about,
and I haven't been able to sleep well in days.

Wed, 21 May 2008 06:06:33 GMT

I can't say I regret throwing it.

Sun, 18 May 2008 07:12:20 GMT

Nuff said.

Say Marcy...

Sat, 17 May 2008 16:26:45 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :]

I feel a need

Thu, 15 May 2008 07:40:11 GMT

for a distraction is all.
Something to keep me busy, so my mind won't wander.
When I'm alone I just feel second-bested or ignored.
While I know in my heart of hearts that's not the case.
It's childish to need to be reminded of what I have so often.

A good evening

Sun, 11 May 2008 06:16:19 GMT

or so I thought?

edit:
mary lou, i want to make you happy.
mary lou, i want to come closer and be the one person who's ever treated you right.
but mary lou, i feel i am a burden.
i take away your sleep. i take away your energy.
mary lou, i can't fix everything.
mary lou, i haven't fixed anything.
mary lou, i want to help you in any way.
this is why i want you to come to my church.
the only thing i can offer,
that is worthy of you is:
my family, my friends, and my god.
mary lou, you are my angel, and you've shown me something amazing.
and i will return the favor to you.
mary lou, i love you.

Thu, 08 May 2008 07:50:15 GMT

The wind beneath my wings
the sun in my sky
the water in my eyes
the breath in my lungs.

Caffeine.

Wed, 07 May 2008 07:12:20 GMT

FUCK YEAH!

Let's just say...

Sun, 04 May 2008 08:20:28 GMT

today wasn't a very good day.

Thu, 01 May 2008 05:48:32 GMT

Hey hey,
If I get one more tardy, I can't walk at graduation!
Fantastic!

Malu.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:24:48 GMT

you're at the point in your life, where you can accomplish anything.
you don't know how excited i am to see you prove any one who's had a second thought about you wrong.
there aren't any words that i could use to tell you how proud i am of you.
i love and cherish you, along with every cut, bruise, or scrape you pick up on the way.

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:17:29 GMT

Malu looked through her things today.. so did I.

"Happy Birthday! The big 1 - 6! How exciting! I assume we are not talking again. We're cool/silly like that. But anyways, I just couldn't ignore you on your [sunday before] birthday! So... I know that this shirt is horribly ugly. But in my defense, it's the thought that really counts... nigger! <3<3<3 Weee! (: I'll end by saying thanks for being a great brother/friend always being there. You've helped me more than you will ever know. This is your [almost] Birthday. Enjoy it!

Forever,"

Pink tissue paper locked in a drawer for years.
And no one will hear me out.

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:17:22 GMT

I wish things were better for everyone.
As good as they are for me.

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:51:14 GMT

When the time comes, Sufjan goes first.

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 06:56:34 GMT

: \

" everybody cares, everybody understands
yes, everybody cares about you
as a matter of fact I'm sure they do
but if you don't act just right
they kick you in the head
but i wouldn't take it offensively,
they're doing it out of sympathy
and you're the one who's bringing it all about"

Wtf?

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 07:40:16 GMT

It's 12:40, and no one's online?
The one time I do get a nap and could stay up all night.
Hmm, I suppose I could sleep.
However boring it may be!